The List of Good-Luck Wishers

Since I have recently been writing a loooot of exams (make that LOOOOTTTT) I have received many calls wishing me luck. I am incredibly grateful to all those who called me and who wish me well, but I also could not help but notice that all calls have a pattern. Due to my newly found love of organising things, I have categorized well wishers as follows:

The How-Are-You-Feeling caller:
This type of callers wants to do an emotional analysis of human behavior before exams. They open the call asking you how you feel and then start sub categorizing on feelings. Some options: Nervous? Excited? Happy that it will be over? Anticipatory? Anxious? How how how?
Once you finish telling them how you feel, they proceed to advise you on what to do. If you are nervous you should just chill out, if you are excited you should meditate and calm down, if you are happy... I have never felt happy before an exam, so I have never received advice on what to do :)

The Everything-Will-Be-Fine caller:
The eternal optimist. To them, the exam just has to get over for the sun to start shining, birds to start chirping and the rainbows to start appearing. Their opening line is how-are-you-feeling, and regardless of your response, they tell you All's going to be well. Just finish the exam, they say, and bliss will come. Heaven's doors will finally open. And what if you mess up? Errmmmm... welll watch the sun, birds and rainbows. They are out anyway.

The Statistics-Giving caller:
One heck of a pain. Before wishing you luck, they want to talk about the statistics. How many people are writing the exam? What is the probability of you making it? How many of your competitors can be eliminated? What is the optimum strategy to follow? They give you all this and more. If at the end of it, you want to scream, they will probably give you stats on when you will explode also.

The You-Only Caller:
The scariest according to me. The You- Only caller tells you that there is no way this exam can get messed up because You Only are writing it. Even if God comes to Earth and tries to mess with you, You Only will succeed. They make you feel like the whole world's expectations are on your shoulders. I mean, if You Only don't do well, can you imagine all the other Onlies doing anything at all? Heck, NO. And if you mess up? You Only has not calculated your marks right. After the results come, it will be perfect. They Only Know.

The Ok-so-you-are-writing-but-lets-talk caller:
These guys start off wishing you luck, but then somewhere along the way they deviate and end up talking about everything else. They don't seem to realise that before exams you don't want to discuss their mother in law's bad ankle or sister's husband's brother's surgery. Even a call to wish luck has to last for 30 minutes. God save you!

The Short-And-Snappy caller:
The best of the lot and the category most of my pals fall into. (Am I lucky or what?) Sample call:
They (T): Hey all the best.
You (Y): Thanks.
T: You'll do well. Don't worry. Give me a call after the exam.
Y: Sure.
T: Bye.
Period. I love them.
If you know any more types, let me know. Comments are always open. :)

Edit: As Mika rightly pointed out, there is also the Oh-you-had-an-exam caller: The well wisher who never knew you had an exam, and hence couldn't wish you at all :) But nevertheless, they apologise and then hound you on how the exam went. I most certainly fall under this category!

Subs also pointed out that there is The Lazy Texter. No calls at all. Just one word. ATB. :) Makes life simpler, doesn't it?

Disclaimer : I have nothing against any of the callers mentioned above. They were just an observation. Please do not try categorizing yourself (in caseyou call me!). The categories have obviously been exaggerated quite a bit too. Its all in the name of humor. Love.