Blow your Horn....

I have to admit, I hate it. I hattteee people honking away to glory, sitting in their vehicles, when there is clearly no reason to do so on the roads. Especially when stuck in traffic. There is no way out, people get irritated, fume at each other and blow more horns. And traffic does not move. It drives me nuts.

Recently, I had the good fortune to sit right behind the driver's seat in the bus. While I almost became deaf, I got a chance to observe how, why, where and when the driver decided to honk.

And by my keen powers of observation, I found he did it EVERY- BLOODY- WHERE.

Progress from Mylapore to Duraisamy Subway:

• Bus stops at bus-stop. Sound horn. I am swept into the bus and find myself right behind the driver.


• Bus leaves the stop. Sound horn.


• Light turns red at signal. Screeching brakes. Sound horn to notify people behind bus that signal has changed.


• Bus is at signal. Short, sharp blow of horn. Driver is spitting on car next to bus.


• Light changes to green. Sound horn, we are chugging away!!


• Suddenly, mad biker cuts in front of us. Even before brakes are slammed, horn is pressed. Loudly, continuously for ten seconds. Useless #%$^^&! Driver yells.


• Horn is still being pressed in short jabs to express anger at mad biker. Also gives tune to expletives coming from driver.


• Signal again. Pretty girl crosses the road. Hoot hoot! Blow horn = how you doing?


• Argument between conductor and passenger. Conductor is charging Rs. 7 saying it is a deluxe bus. Passenger demands a Rs. 5 ticket saying some alphabet is missing from the board in front and hence the bus is not what is claims to be. Driver honks. Half turning, he joins in saying bus is deluxe. It doesn't occur to him that you can't bloody hear him because he wants to honk at each word.
• Bus stop again. As bus starts moving once normal passengers have got in, crazy youths decide to daringly (and stupidly) get on bus while it is moving. They nearly fall underneath it in the process. More angry honks from driver. Don't get yourselves bloody killed on my bus, you #%#$%#$^!

Put the above in a while loop with no condition. At Duraisamy Subway, I got down- stone deaf, unable to hear myself think. Now everyone accuses me of talking loudly.

I know whom to blame.