... ....

The sign on his table said ASTROLGER in big red letters. Below that, in smaller letters it said, HORSCOPE AND PAMMIST ALSO.
The sign always upset him. He knew something was wrong with it (though he could never quite put his finger on what it was) but it also reminded him of what a bad "astrolger" he really was. But he could never bring himself to remove it as it was the only thing in the room that made it look like his "office premises".
He pushed the sign slightly away from himself as he sat before his clients - a family of three composed of an imposing, garrulous mother (whom he instantly disliked), an uninterested father and a skinny son squashed between the two of them. The mother seemed to be the only one wanting to ask questions and demand answers; the father kept looking at the sign on his desk suspiciously and the boy kept shrinking further and further into his seat.
"We used to go to Guru ABC previously." The mother proclaimed loudly. "And then... he died." She looked more disappointed than sad at the development. He was tempted to ask how soon after association with her the man had died, but she turned suspiciously towards him. "You do know Guru ABC?"
He nodded. It was the old guy in the next road who had stolen his business because of his long white beard and large signboard (painted correctly). "Very good man." He said, trying to look sorry.
"This is my son's horoscope as prepared by Guru." The lady pushed forward a thin book. "He told us our son would get married by this month end, but no matches have come up. Please tell us what will happen."
The father grunted, glancing at the sign once again and he wondered if he should just sweep it off the table.
He opened the horoscope and peered down at the notes. None of it really made sense to him. He had never understood the planets (it was his father who had built up the business and he had been dragged into it) but this book was the absolute pits. He wondered if anyone other than Guru ABC could decipher the scribbling on the sheets. He wanted to give it back to the mother and say it was hopeless to try and understand it, but he also needed money desperately.
"Well?" Demanded the mother.
He placed the horoscope on a tray and then placed that in front of the portraits of an array of Gods lining the wall. He closed his eyes and prayed for the strength to cook up some intelligent answers. Even though this was what he prayed for most of the time, he felt more apprehensive than usual. When he was convinced that if he kept his eyes shut any longer, the family would leave, he turned to them.
"Your son..." He began. "Your son is currently going through a bad phase. The moon..." he jabbed a random point in the horoscope,"is not positioned favourably."
The mother opened and shut her mouth like a fish and the father just grunted again, but the boy looked ready to bawl.
He quickly shook his head. "The effects ofcourse, are not long lasting." He said. The mother's face stopped turning blue and she seemed to breathe again. "Within the next four months, your son is definitely going to get married."
"To whom?" Fired the mother. Now that one hurdle was crossed, she looked set to spit fire if he didn't give favourable answers to the next set of questions.
"The planets cannot determine a person's name." He admitted honestly. "But... he will marry the third match that comes to you."
"Third?" The father looked sceptical, and he wondered if maybe they didn't expect anyone to want to marry into the family. He had thought 3 was a safe number- they wouldn't feel he was trying to palm off their son to the first person in sight and at the same time, it wasn't too big a number for the proposals that could come their way. Even if no one came for the striking intelligence and good looks of their son, the family looked rich and respectable enough for 3 families to send proposals.
"Yes, third."
"And what will the girl bring into the house in terms of land and gold?" The mother asked anxiously. The boy turned white. Even the father looked slightly ashamed.
Ah ha. Here was the most important question. He looked at her with distaste. For this awesome specimen of a son, they should bring along another boy to keep them company, he thought.
"Lavish gifts from the side of the girl can have very dire consequences." He said gravely. "It could even...." He looked at the son sorrowfully and didn't say anything.
The boy yelped with fright, but the mother looked angry. "Here, what do you mean?"
"You might not have grandchildren." He said, wondering if that was serious enough to prevent her from asking for dowry. "The girl's family should not send her with too many gifts or it will lead to the evil eye being cast on you. Relatives can be very greedy these days, madam."
The mother seemed to grasp this logic well. "But... absolutely nothing then?"
"Ah, madam, you bring the horoscope of the third girl, and I shall tell you what can be done." He said generously. "I will keep this horoscope of your son safely with me till then."
And make sure you don't head to some other astrologer, he thought to himself.
They seemed satisfied. He watched as they dropped a 500 Rupee note into his payment box and smiled sycophantishly as they trotted out.
Then he picked up the sheaf of papers, threw it into his desk, took the money and went out to get drunk.