R and R

One month's up. I am not sure if I am supposed to be happy or sad about that. Mostly I just feel too sleep deprived to do any rational thinking. But in this one month, some things have become standardized - an unfailing routine that makes the adrenaline rush to your brain in the morning and puts you in autopilot for the rest of the day.

Samples of routines and realisations of the last one month:

1) You get up at 9.45 AM for a 10 AM class. You rush to the bathroom to find every other occupant of the hostel block who has a class at 10 brushing their teeth there.

2) You run to the mess to find the coffee is over. You curse those few organised people who are enjoying the remnants of their breakfast and coffee in total peace while you are still gasping for breath.

3) You run to class to find a bleary eyed neighbour studying a case with deep concentration. Only he is trying to concentrate on not falling asleep on the case study. You don't remember what in the world you were supposed to read. In fact, you don't even know where he got the damned case study paper from. You desperately ask him what it is you were supposed to prepare for the class. He looks up, equally blank, and says some other person gave him the case and he is also reading it only now. You grab the sheet and frantically study what you can in the three minutes before the prof walks in. The prof comes in and starts asking questions on some other random topic you have no clue about. The case is never discussed.

4) While the prof talks about marginal utility, you are busy observing the person who is sleeping with his head perched precariously on his elbow and calculating the time interval before his head hits the desk...

5) You blink... the prof is talking about writing off bad debts... you blink a little more.. he still seems to be talking... debit bad debts expense, credit.... you are asleep.

6) You look out of the classroom and see Wockhardt Hospital. And you are thinking what a beautiful building it is and wishing you could get out of campus just to see the hospital of all things....

7) Your only objective in the whole day is to find five minutes so that you can sleep without being woken up by your neighbour/ professor/ neighbour's snores.

8) You start dreaming of sleep and you realise that the most unused object in your room is the bed.

9) You remember those times when bathing daily/ twice-a-day actually happened in life.

10) It is 11:59:59 PM. There is no deadline. Your heart is not racing, and you are breathing normally. Something is definitely wrong. You start worrying about why it is that you have nothing to submit, no where to go and no worry at all....

To Be Is Not A Question

Last year was a rough year. And as all the life coaches say, somehow, that is when you learn the useful lessons of life.
My lesson from last year is something I think should be taught in school: Don't listen to anyone. Make your own choices, make your own decisions.
Why do I say that? Because even the people who have your best interests at heart can lead you down the wrong path. Because people love dishing out advice when you don't ask for it. Because people will never know you the way you can know you. Because some people will love seeing you fail. Because some people want to push you to a dream of success you don't want. Because most people will never know what you really, really want. And even if they do, they would love to put it down the minute they find it doesn't have 'mass appeal'.
Last year, I spoke to people about IIMs, interviews, placements, CAT... the list I wanted an opinion on was endless. And while everyone gave me some viewpoint or the other, either they pulled me down by telling me I couldn't do something I wanted to do, or wanted to help so much that they missed what I was trying to ask them.
Mass opinion need not be the correct opinion. You should just do what you want, the way you want to do it, and let the rest of the world go dang. People scare you into joining the bandwagon. And once you are on top of it and cheering away with the rest of the mob, you ain't even all that happy. And then people want to tell you you are really not capable of staying on the bandwagon. Don't listen. Don't get on that loony wagon. Go for the moon if you want to. Chances are, you will get there long before the opiniated folks even figure where it actually is.