Work, A Boy and a Conversation

Here is another amazing conversation I had with a colleague when I had just joined work. This was about 10 months ago, but I haven't forgotten any part of it. It might not seem as funny as it really was, when penned down, because: i) I cannot capture his expressions here; ii) the conversation was in telugu and this post is in English (I must admit, I am using that to my advantage, because if this had been penned in Telugu, I would have been the butt of all jokes. The point of this post would have then been lost and we cannot have people laughing at me after reading my own blog, can we?)

The boy in question- we shall call him X for convenience- is a very typical Telugu guy, very conservative and traditional (I am sorry they seem to be popping up so much in this blog!) and a hardcore MCP (those who don't know the expansion for this need not proceed reading). He had joined the organisation right after finishing his engineering degree and had been there for two years when I started working there. That is for the background. We shall now proceed with the conversation.

I had been sitting in my cubicle without work, nervously hoping I could blend in with the surroundings (it was my first few days!) and X seemed rather sympathetic towards my situation. He stopped banging on the keyboard of his computer and turned to me.

X: Hi, I am X.
Me: Hi, I am Maithri.
X: Where are you from?
Me: Chennai.
X: Oh, Tamilian?
Me: No, actually my mother tongue is Telugu but I have been brought up in Chennai.
X (Visibly brightening): Telugu aa? Good, good. I have always been in Andhra. Where in Andhra are you from?
Me: Well, my ancestors are from uh, Vizag... or somewhere around...
X (Thrilled now): That is great! So am I. Brahmin is it?
Me (Rather affronted) : Yes...
X (Cutting in): Wonderful, wonderful. So am I.
He lowered his voice conspiratorially and said: I am sorry, but I thought you were a Muslim actually.
I raised my eyebrows: No, thats perfectly alright, no problem really...
He: No, no. I mean you are a brahmin... (Further lowering his voice) But I thought I saw you eating egg the other day?
I: No, actually, I am a vegetarian but...
He (cutting in again with a sigh of relief): Thank God. Nowadays even brahmins eat chicken and all. It is not at all in line with our values, you know? Me and my mother and my brother and my father, we only go to vegetarian restaurants whenever possible. It is so difficult here in office. That is why I bring my own lunch.
He pointed to a steel tiffin carrier with 5 dabbas and I mentally struck down the idea of telling him that I do eat egg.
X: Are you married?
I (amazed): what?
X (not in the least bothered): Married. Are you married?
I: Well, no....
X: How old are you?
Today I would most definitely box a person for asking me so many unneeded questions on our first meeting, but I was really nervous back then. Coming from a college where stepping to the edge of the line would lead to threats of expulsion, I was scared someone would come and kick me out of the organisation if I refused to toe the line of a 'senior'.
I: 21....
X (concerned): Your parents are looking out for you I hope? If you wait too long you won't find any good Telugu boy, you know. Jaatakam (horoscope) matching takes time. Of course, it depends on your nakshatram and gothram also. Try for a boy who has done his masters in Yamerica. It would be good. You can also go there then...
I was increasingly getting into a state of panic. Part of me wanted to run away, part of me was dead scared seeing this completely new species of human- he was such a weirdo!- and part of me was actually debating calling up my father and asking him to search for a suitable bridegroom then and there.
X was still talking: I want a good Telugu girl who will look after my parents in their old age. Housewife....
He paused and looked at me speculatively.
X: You know you are not that bad yourself.
Just when I didn't think it was possible, he had outdone himself. I was speechless with shock.
He did not seem to mind the fact that Iwas just opening and closing my mouth like a goldfish.
He continued: You could lose some weight but overall you are quite pretty. And very fair also... What does your father do?

At this point, we were fortunately interrupted by my HR manager who wanted to talk to me. Otherwsie, I might have just been writing this post sitting in some kitchen in Yamerica as Mrs. X.

After that first meeting, the boy worked with me for a couple of months. He gradually ended up thinking I was a radical feminist and kept his distance. He was a really nice guy and sometimes I think he might change over the years, especially if he does go to that place of his dreams- Yamerica- but then some things just cannot be changed....